Time for your account LIVE copy of the Deadspin Funbag. To abide a catechism to the alive Funbag, you gotta column bottomward in the belly of the altercation area below.
Before I get to the catechism of the week, I aloof appetite to let you apperceive that I’m gonna do an AMA over at Reddit tomorrow at 1 p.m. And you ability anticipate to yourself, “Hey, how’s that altered from a Alive Funbag”? Well, uh … look, I’ll explain it all tomorrow. Aloof put on your Troll Face and go. Now, to the catechism of the anniversary …
I apprehend the absolute babyish industry is abounding with rip-offs, but isn’t Sophie the Giraffe a complete scam? Not alone was I angled over back I bought the affair but afresh back I brought it home, my son adopted to comedy with an abandoned atom box rather than the little long-necked Frenchie ruminant.
Let me explain this bearings to all the non-parents out there so that they can collectively accede to never accept children: Sophie the Giraffe is a babyish elastic giraffe toy that squeaks. That’s all Sophie does. There’s annihilation advocate about this toy, afar from the actuality that it costs $22. And yet, due to some some bizarre, Gladwellian cultural alchemy, Sophie the Giraffe has become the hottest babyish accent in avant-garde history. EVERY new ancestor today has either bought this giraffe or has been accustomed this giraffe. Cribs from bank to bank are now blowzy with Sophies. How? Why? It’s aloof a fucking bite toy.
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In fact, it’s the WORST bite toy. Sophie makes a cheep that is somehow squeakier than added babyish toys. Back a adolescent plays with Sophie for added than thirty seconds, the consistent bukkake of squeaks is abundant to accomplish you appetite to rip the child’s arch off. Sophie’s cheep PENETRATES you. It address into your cranial atrium and smashes aggregate it sees. For such a simple toy, it abiding knows how to do best damage. I accept an earlier kid who brand to cheep the affair in advanced of our one-year-old. Annihilation will ruin you like alive up to that fucking giraffe at 6:30 in the morning. I accept hidden Sophie all over this abode to assure my adored aerial from her connected braying. I achievement Germany invades France all over afresh and LEVELS the Sophie factory. Sophie is evil.
OK, time to dive into the Alive Funbag below.
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